The Heartbreaking News

The day after Emily was born started off just as I expected, routine post-natal care and an early morning visit with my new baby to feed her and bond with her. As the day progressed nurses, doctors and visitors came and went. But that day was far from routine. No one could have prepared us for what we were about to experience.



Dr. Chiang is a Pediatric Ophthalmologist from Columbia University in NYC who was asked to come and examine Emily. We were waiting all day for him to arrive and finally around 5:00 or so he arrived. The nurses wheeled her out of the room in her cute little bassinet so that he could examine her. When he was done, he came and talked to us. Our families were there, so they heard the news first hand.


He was very matter of fact about it, he showed no emotion and didn't sugar coat it. Which kind of didn't settle well with me. There was something about him that I just didn't like and it had nothing to do with what he said. But none the less it was the words he did say that still ring so clearly in my mind. Emily's corneas' were cloudy, but she had responded to light during the exam, which meant she had at least some vision. But the extent to which she would be able to see well or see at all could not be determined. He could not tell us exactly what was wrong with her, but suspected it was something called Sclerocornea, which meant the white parts of her eyes have grown over the clear cornea. He could not see through her corneas to the inside of her eye to determine whether or not her retina's were formed properly, which meant she could probably not see out even if they were. She was blind.




I asked what treatment was available for her condition, what would enable her to see. The answer was not easy to hear...She would need a cornea transplant...and soon. The quicker the transplant is done, the better chance she will have at developing vision. He referred us to a cornea specialist that he works with at Columbia, Dr. Florakis, and said that we should meet with him as soon as possible. He even suggested that we be discharged from the hospital early so that we could take her right away. He gave us his card and Dr. Florakis' phone number and left.


I was frozen, paralyzed in every way possible. There were no words at that moment, only tears and heartbreaking thoughts of our brand new baby girl needing surgery and possibly being blind for her entire life. The only thing I could do was cling to Jason as hard as I could and cry. I cried harder than I have ever cried before. I remember shortly after Dr. Chiang left, Jason's brothers family came to visit. I couldn't even begin to tell them what we had just heard, so I asked someone to explain to them what was going on, they must have gone out in the hall to talk because I don't remember hearing what was said. The emotions that ran through me that day are indescribable. I would never wish for anyone to ever feel the pain that I felt that day. Suddenly the joy and excitement of our new little girl's arrival, turned to fear, anxiety and sadness. Our life was turned upside down in that moment, and it would never be the same again.


Our baby's life had just begun and was already filled with so much uncertainty.


We felt helpless and heartbroken.