June 4th 2009:
Emily had her second cornea transplant in her left eye today. She also had a cataract removed and a lens implant put in.
This could very well be her last chance for a clear cornea and vision in her left eye. Dr. Zaidman had previously told me that if this one rejects, he's not sure he would feel comfortable doing the transplant a third time. With each surgery, the success rate drops. But hopefully we wouldn't have to go down that road.
We arrived at the hospital very early, went through the standard pre-op waiting...waiting...waiting...a few eye drops for dilation and antibiotics to avoid infection. Finally the nurses said it was time and I put on my white bunny suit and blue surgical cap that has become so familiar to us. I held Emily as we walked down to the OR doors and Jason said a teary goodbye and I love you to her, then I continued on with the nurses as the doors shut behind me. This time there was no 45 minute wait, we went straight into the OR where Dr. Zaidman was already waiting for us. The anesthesiologists quickly instructed me to lay her down so they could get started right away. She cried and put up more of a fuss than usual, but once the mask was on she calmed down. Within seconds she was asleep. I held her hand, kissed her cheek, told her I loved her and that I would be there when she woke up. "Be strong baby Girl" were my last words before I let go of her hand and walked away.
I walked back out into the hallway in tears, trying to get the bunny suit off before I completely fell apart. Once I saw Jason and we hugged, I just let it all out. I was so scared for her, this was her 12th surgery...how much more of this can she handle? We slowly walked down the hallway and made our way out of the surgical area. I was starving and food seemed to be the only distraction I could think of at the moment. We went to the cafe, milled around for about 10 minutes before I finally decided on just a muffin and soda. We went and sat down in the back corner by a window. We didn't talk much, just ate our food and kind of sat in silence for a while. Jason put his ipod earbuds in and fell asleep, I emptied my purse and organized my wallet...anything to keep my mind off of what was happening. I sent a few text messages, talked to a friend for a few minutes and then resorted to just sitting and thinking.
I hate sitting in the waiting room, it always feels like time goes by so much slower. We sat in the cafe for about another half an hour before I woke Jason up and we walked down to the gift shop. I got a candy bar and picked out a cute stuffed animal for Emmy. It was our tradition, she always gets something from the gift shop. I wanted to get another puppy for her since she seemed so in love with the one we gave her a few weeks ago from her last surgery. Jason said "it doesn't matter what kind of animal you get her, she's still going to call it a puppy"...it was the first time I had smiled or laughed all day. I settled on a cute golden retriever.
We walked back down to the waiting room and sat down. I had just gotten comfortable, put my sunglasses on to make it darker in the room and closed my eyes, hoping to catch a small nap. Within minutes Dr. Zaidman popped his head in and said she was done. He talked with us as we walked back to the recovery room. He said she did very well, and he was very pleased with how the surgeries went. She did receive the lens implant to replace the cataract that was removed, and with the new cornea, we held high hopes that her vision would be intact and much better than it was before. But we'd have to wait until the next day to find out.
We went back into the recovery room where she was still waking up from the anesthesia. She was hungry, thirsty and just needed to be loved. I held her for the entire time we were in recovery and she drank as much as she needed to. We were released fairly quickly and instructed to come back first thing the next morning to see Dr. Zaidman. She slept all the way home and when we got there she was walking around fairly well even with her eye patched. She had no problems sleeping overnight, neither did we...we were all exhausted.
When we arrived at the hospital the next morning, I was nervous. I couldn't wait to see what her new eye looked like and how it changed her perspective on the world. We took the patch off and I could immediately see how much better her eye looked. It was not cloudy anymore, it was clear! Her window to the world suddenly got much clearer and I'm sure she knew it. Her doctor was very pleased with how it looked and explained the new eye drop schedule. The swelling wasn't bad either...and no bruising! It felt amazing, she had been given another chance to see and you couldn't get me to stop smiling.
When we got home, she was back to her happy self...playing and asking for 'cracker' and 'ba ba'. You could see that her vision was better, she wasn't hesitating as much while walking around and she just had this new found confidence.
It was awe inspiring...she could see again.
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